To those who hate America...

...and everything about it: Please feel free to move to a place without refrigeration, toilet paper, heating and air conditioning, photography, dishwashers, washing machines, electric fans, zippers, remote control, airplanes, flashlights, windshield wipers, electricity, grocery stores, deodorant, microwaves, cell phones, credit cards, satellite, compact discs, calculators, computers, internet, email, GPS, and digital cameras.

Please just shut up before I backhand you to the face. I'm sick of hearing people say how terrible America is.